Vic Spanner does the following things:

Used to make music

Is a bit of a nerd

Drinks a lot of tea

Is writing the Great American Novel in his head

Wishes there were more hours in the day

He does not sell spanners or any other kind of tool. Sorry.

He does / does not exist.

He is pretty obsessive about alot of things. People always make it sound like a bad thing.

There are many things he does not know.

He doesn't like finding new life forms hidden at the back of the fridge. And yet still they appear.

He will often watch Disney rom-coms just to shout out "He wants to put his penis in her!" at inappropriate moments.

He has recently come to the conclusion that God is just the untapped potential of the human brain.

For a long time, he thought Noam Chomsky was a rapper.

He is good at eating.

He is a big fan of abstractions. His favourite abstract concept at the moment is 'the economy'.

He is not the author of "Britain's Ten Best Tunnels" or "Pedagogue: Understanding Nothing".

He is allergic to Will Ferrel's face.

He doesn't want to grow up to be an old woman on the bus moaning to all the other old women on the bus about the various injustices of the world, one of which is actually old women moaning on buses.

He has many opinions, but has learnt to keep them to himself. Some of these 'opinons' will eventually appear here, when he gets half a fucking minute.

He does not use 'product'.

Spiders are rubbish.

Jeremy Clarkson is a twat