As we slowly creep forward to the arse end of the first decade of the 21st Century, let's cast our minds back over some of the vile shite that has appeared since we entered the zeroes...

ipods - making people incredibly lazy with their music habits and having thousands of tracks that they never listen to. Give me a cd/LP/ tape that I can hold in my hands, look at, and that might have actually involved some effort in obtaining.

Phones with speakers - yes, please play your shitty music through a pair of tinny little speakers for all the world to enjoy. What the fuck do you think earphones are for?

Abuse of the English language - I'm all up for the development of the English language and abuse at the hands of those with brains (Chris Morris, Cormac McCarthy, MF DOOM, David Milch etc), but at least learn to speak it properly first, before you go around talking like a thick shit. I'm sure there was a time where everything was well bad, and I was like, OMIGOD. LOL.

The Jeremy Kyle show - chavs airing their 'problems' on national TV. You'll just encourage them.

Reality TV - this has now devolved to the point where 'reality' has nothing to do with it.

'Reality TV stars' - the description, the people, the idea that someone is famous for being famous.

X Factor, Pop Idol, celebrity fucking dancing, ice-skating, truck-touching, badger-wanking bullshit.

The Eighties revival.

Keane.

Mamma Mia - we didn't need a musical and we sure as shit didn't need the movie.

George W Bush.

Paris Hilton - her entire existence.

The return of mullets and rat-tails.

Phone apps.